December 2025

Message From The SGVPA President

              Dr. Shannon Thomas, Psy.D

The holiday season often brings a complex mix of emotions. For some, it’s a time of joy and togetherness. For others, it brings grief, loneliness, or added stress. Many of us experience both—moments of warmth alongside moments of overwhelm. If you’ve ever struggled with holiday seasons, you are not alone. In fact, anticipatory stress during this time can be a reminder to pause, check in, and notice what’s happening in your body and mind as we get closer to the holiday season.

So often we try to push through holiday stress and focus only on the “good.” But it can help to understand where the stress is coming from, and to have tools that create more ease. In this article, we’ll explore some common sources of holiday stress—seasonal, cultural, and interpersonal—and practical strategies rooted in mindfulness, self-compassion, and evidence-based coping to support you this season.

Defining Stress

Take a moment to define what stress feels like for you. Stress can be both personal and collective, and it’s important to notice how it shows up in your life. You might feel it in your body through tension, stiffness, or an increased heart rate. You may notice a racing mind, irritability, or fatigue. Stress can also arise from the larger world such as the weight of current events, or anxiety connected to family dynamics. Naming and noticing these patterns helps you understand how stress uniquely shows up for you, making it easier to choose practices that truly support your well-being. This is not an exhaustive list, and as you read about some of these common holiday stressors, pay attention to what resonates with you, what you would include, and which mindfulness practices feel nourishing in your system.

Seasonal & Biological Factors

The colder months can shift our bodies and energy in real ways. Shorter daylight means less sun exposure and vitamin D, which can affect our mood. Colder weather may lead to less outdoor movement, which can also impact how we feel. For some, this season can contribute to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

Practical supports:

• Move your body in ways that feel doable. This might mean gentle stretching at home, a short yoga flow, or a walk outside. Ask yourself: what type of movement feels interesting and realistic for me right now? Once you find something that works, set an intention to do this a few times in your week.

• Create cozy rituals. Warm blankets, hot soups, fuzzy socks, and comfort music can all be grounding. Notice what comforts your body and intentionally give yourself more of it. Personally, I love a warm cup of ginger tea in the evening.

• Nutrition. You might consider talking with your medical provider about how nutrition can support your wellbeing during the darker months. For some people, this may include discussing foods rich in vitamin D or whether herbs or supplements could be helpful.

Cultural & Expectation Pressures

Our culture paints the holidays as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. But this expectation can create stress if your experience doesn’t match the “picture.” Maybe you’re grieving, spending holidays alone, or simply not in a season of joy. The mismatch itself can feel heavy.

Practical supports:

• Redefine what holidays mean to you. Ask: what do I actually want this season to look like? Not what it “should” be, but what matters to me.

• Create a values list. Create a values list. Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead values list is a great tool (you can find it online). Circle the values you notice in your culture or community around the holidays, then circle the values you personally hold. Compare. Where do they overlap? Where do they differ? This awareness can help you decide which cultural traditions you want to honor.

• Communicate with your family or community. Before the season gets busy, share what you’d like to do, what feels exhausting, and where you may need space. Collaboration can create traditions that feel better for everyone.

• Create a tradition that aligns with your values. It may be fun to experiment with your own tradition that you’d like to start. Whether it is with family or on your own, rituals can be supportive and grounding.

• Honor grief. If holidays bring up grief or loss, make intentional space for it. Journaling, rituals, or conversations can create connection in the midst of pain. Set a container for grief, for example, light a candle to honor your grief, and blow it out when you’re ready to move from this space.

Interpersonal & Family Dynamics

For some, holiday stress is less about traditions and more about personal relationships. There may be estrangement, grief and loss, high-conflict dynamics, or simply misalignment with family of origin. Being in these environments can stir anxiety and take a toll.

Practical supports:

•   Create a values list. Similarly like the values list related to culture, circle values you notice in your family during            the holidays, then circle the values you personally hold. Compare. Where do they overlap? Where do they differ?        This awareness helps guide what values you want to honor, what boundaries to hold, and what compromises              you’re willing to make.

• Ground yourself in gatherings. Before entering a stressful space, ask: what do I need to feel steady? Maybe it’s planning to take breaks, stepping outside for fresh air, or leaving earlier than usual. Perhaps its being around those individuals who feel easy to talk to.

• Notice “parts” that arise. From an Internal Family Systems (IFS) lens, old roles often reappear with family. Stay curious and compassionate toward these parts.

• Give yourself recovery time. After gatherings, schedule rest or self-care so your body and mind have space to reset. Debrief with a therapist, friend or family member and talk about what went well and what did not.

• Be flexible. Sometimes it means saying no or setting a boundary to honor what matters most to you. Other times, it’s leaning in, compromising, or adjusting your approach to maintain connection or harmony with others. The key is noticing which values are guiding your choice and being gentle with yourself along the way. There may be moments of challenge and tension. Allow yourself gentleness throughout.

Loneliness & Isolation

For those far from family, estranged, or grieving, holidays can amplify feelings of loneliness. Acknowledging “I feel lonely” is an act of honesty and connection with yourself and it doesn’t mean complacency, just recognition. Sometimes this knowing and acceptance can feel like you are supportive your own person even when no one else is around. Even in crowds, connection to the self is vital.

Practical supports:

• Journal: Set a timer in a comfortable space. Explore prompts like: name 2 things you’re grateful for, 2 challenges, 1 thing you notice right now. Spending safe, intentional time with your feelings can strengthen self-connection.

• Offer self-kindness: Imagine speaking to a friend who felt lonely—what affirmations would you offer? What would it be like to offer these towards yourself?

• Engage your senses: Try a new hobby, class, craft, mindful app, or a walk in nature. Use touch, sight, sound, smell, and taste to stay grounded.

• Connect with nature: Being outdoors, noticing the slower pace in nature. Sometimes being in these spaces can remind us that we are part of nature and that we are not alone. What would it be like to talk with a tree? I know this may sound strange, but consider the “imaginal” realm—real, meaningful experiences beyond the literal.

• Nourish your mind & body. Learn something new, cook a recipe you’ve been curious about, or create a small ritual just for yourself.

• Reach out. Call or meet a friend or family member, attend local events like farmers markets, community celebration, hikes, or community classes. Help others—volunteer, assist a neighbor, or support a friend—to foster connection and empowerment.

• Challenge yourself. For example, what would it be like to share some honesty and vulnerability with someone around you? You know, I feel sorta down during this time of the year. This time can be an opportunity to grow and expand in different ways.

Finances, Time & Energy

Holiday obligations can stretch your resources like money, time, and energy. Feeling pressure to give, host, or participate is normal, but you can approach it intentionally.

Practical supports:

• Check your finances. Review your budget before shopping or planning. Notice the difference between giving from desire vs. pressure.

• Prioritize what matters. Focus on activities, gifts, or events that align with your values and bring joy, not stress.

• Share responsibilities. Potlucks, group gifts, white elephants, or shared hosting lighten the load and create community.

• Indulge mindfully. Treat yourself in ways that feel supportive.

• Schedule & allow flexibility. Put key events on your calendar, but leave space for rest and spontaneity.

• Rest & restore. Take intentional breaks to reorient to what matters most. Notice your body and energy, and give yourself permission to pause.

Mindfulness & Self-Compassion

Mindfulness helps us notice how our environment and relationships impact us. Stress is not just “your problem”—it’s contextual, and you’re responding to very real conditions. With mindfulness, we can release self-blame and approach ourselves with more grace.

Practical supports:

•  Shift from “overcoming” to “noticing.” Instead of pressuring yourself to conquer holiday stress, give yourself permission to simply name what you feel: this is stressful, this is real, and I’m not alone in it or I can support myself through this.

• Grounding as process, not goal. Grounding isn’t something to “achieve.” It’s an experience of gently coming back to your body, breath, or senses—even briefly. Each moment of grounding is enough.

• Create affirmations or mantras. You can write your own or find ones online that resonate with you. A mantra is simply a short phrase or statement that you repeat to focus your mind and energy. It can be grounding, encouraging, or a reminder of your values. Take a moment to hold an affirmation or mantra and notice how it feels in your body. Sometimes choosing a simple “mantra of the day” is a helpful way to realign with what matters most to you. Treat this as an experiment and try different ones. See what supports you.

• Self-compassion check-ins. Ask: what would it look like to give myself grace right now? Sometimes that’s saying no, sometimes it’s resting, sometimes it’s doing the harder thing because it matters to you.

• Pause and Rest. Take a breath. You don’t need to do everything in this article. Notice what catches your attention or draws you in. Focus on a few things that feel meaningful, and allow yourself to rest between efforts. Let these ideas sit, integrate, and unfold naturally. Trust the process, and remember: even small steps can create real connection and ease this season.

Reflection

Holiday stress is not a personal failure. It is part of the collective experience of navigating seasonal shifts, cultural pressures, and relational dynamics. You don’t have to meet these challenges perfectly. Instead, you can define what the season means for you, create rituals of rest and connection, and move through the holidays with gentleness.

Rest is a valid choice. And so is connection, movement, and celebration. This season, may you give yourself permission to choose what you truly need.

Topic: Employing Character Strengths as Treatment Goals